✨ Free shipping over $35 · Not real medicine, definitely real candy
Officially unofficial · est. whenever

Candy that thinks it's medicine.

The gag gift you'll buy this year. Real candy, packaged as fake pharmaceuticals, for problems your insurance refuses to acknowledge.

not medicine!
actually candy 🍬
Shartismol
Meetingrofen
Distillaxine

The formulary.

Five flagship products. Real candy. Comically committed packaging. Drag to browse →

🎁 The bundle

The whole
pharmacy.
One tin.

Our flagship gift. Every product, plus the "Boo-Boo-Hoo" feelings bandages, packed in a real first-aid tin. The thing to send when a friend's had a long week — or a long year.

  • One of every flagship product
  • "Boo-Boo-Hoo" feelings bandages
  • Custom prescription card
  • Real first-aid tin (keep forever)
$48 $55 Save $7
Get Well Kit contents
Get Well Kit tin

How it works.

Three steps. Twenty minutes of your time. One coworker's life: changed.

01

Pick a prescription

Browse the formulary. Add one product, or grab the full kit. Nothing here will actually cure anything.

02

Ship to a victim

Coworker, sibling, parent, or that one friend who needs a laugh. We won't tell them you laughed first.

03

Wait for the text

Within 24 hours of opening, expect a "WTF?!" message. That's how you know it worked.

Early reactions.

From the friends and family who got the first boxes.

Sent the Meetingrofen to my manager. She kept the bottle on her desk. My standup got cancelled the next week. Coincidence?

DK
Dana K.
Software Engineer

My dad turned 65 and refused to acknowledge it. The Get Well Kit broke him. He's now wearing the "Told to Calm Down" bandage in his profile pic.

MT
Marcus T.
Reformed Gift-Giver

Bought the Distillaxine shot glass for my sister's bachelorette. Best gift of the night. Worst gift to read in front of her future mother-in-law.

PR
Priya R.
Maid of Honor (Demoted)

Common questions.

The things people ask before they buy.

Yes. Every product contains real, edible candy — cinnamon beans, mints, sugar pieces. The packaging is the joke. The candy is real.
Standard shipping in 2–5 business days. Free over $35. Most orders ship the next business day from Maple Valley, WA.
Absolutely. Add a recipient address at checkout, write a custom note (or let us pick one — we're funnier), and we'll ship directly. No receipt or pricing included.
Full ingredient lists are on every product page and on the actual packaging. Products may contain wheat, soy, dairy, or be produced in shared facilities. Always check labels.
We do. Email wholesale@gagrxlabs.com with your store info and we'll send the catalog and minimums.

Get 10% off your first dose.

Drop your email. We'll send a code and one bad joke.

Added to cart